“No More Christian
Nice Guy” – When being Nice - instead of Good, hurts men
women and children. Paul Coughlin.
Society and the church, have worked very
hard to turn Christian men into "Nice Guys" and in so
doing have done huge harm to men, woman, families and
relationships, both in the home and in the work place.
This world is a tough, difficult and messy
place to live but those who have absorbed the call to
"Niceness" shrink from conflict; they do not lead as they are
more concerned about being nice than good.
Christian Nice-Guy
Syndrome
This all affects their self image
as they smoulder in passive aggression because
. . . . they don't have the ability to fight for the things they want in
life.
. . . . people don't respect them.
This harms their relationships with their women because life requires difficult
decisions and actions; things their men are now
ill-prepared to handle. They also squash their emotions
because they see them as bad, dangerous and damaging
to their smiley facade. They don't offer the masculine
support, strong protection and emotional passion women look for in a man.
This harms the men at work because
they lack responsibility and leadership and are thus
overlooked. They tend to become anal perfectionists in an
effort to compensate for their lack of initiative and
passion. Their occasional outbursts of pent-up emotions
damages their fragile relationships at work.
This harms the men in the bedroom
because of their numb emotions which is the powerhouse of
passion and intimacy.
This harms society because we no
longer have heroes; men who are prepared to defend the
weak and offer a protective cloak to those around them.
We now tend to have Christian men who choose comfort and safety** above purpose.
They don't know how to get angry. They
squash their emotions and don't know what to do with them
anyway. They have forgotten that anger is a powerful force
of redemption; a motivator to propel indifferent hearts
into redemptive action.
This is not the picture of Jesus in the
gospels. This sort of Christianity is not only bad for men
and society but is sinful.
This book address these topics and many
more and is a tough, must-read for men and for dads with
sons.
Is he Safe?
** "Is -- is he a man?" asked Lucy.
"Aslan a man!" said Mr. Beaver sternly. "Aslan is a lion
-- THE Lion, the great Lion."
"Ooh!" said Susan. "Is he -- quite safe?"
"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver. "Don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver
tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he
isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."
The Lion, the Witch and the
Wardrobe" - CS Lewis
