I always believed I had a heart for broken women, a desire to serve God in this area was awakened in me when I joined HeartWork to work in the womens prisons. My time there was an incredible experience and definitely where God had placed me. Unfortunately HeartWork decided to stop work in the womens prison and focus on the men. This turned my world upside down for a few days as I debated whether I would have to walk away from HeartWork with this new focus.
After many discussions and lots of prayer I decided to try out the mens prison ministry as I’d been told that I’d never look back once I had experienced it. So it was with a prayerful heart that I left for our opening interviews for the HeartWork course at the maximum security mens prison in Johannesburg.
Entering the prison I couldn’t help but think of all the prison movies I’d seen. Big, scary, tattoo covered men pushing weights in the courtyard and some running up and down the small area causing the ground to shudder beneath me. Walking through the cells I stayed close to the team in fear of being pulled into one of the cells. We reached the room we were to use for the interviews as it had started raining making the courtyard unavailable. Here we packed about 80 men into a small room with pens and paper to fill out forms about themselves and why they wanted to do the HeartWork course. I got time to just stand and watch them as they wrote. I looked at the many faces in that small room and God spoke clearly into my heart. “These are my ‘lost lambs’”
A sense of love came over me as I realized the love God has for these men. That they too are broken and my calling is to broken people and not just women. My fear immediately dissipated. God has given me this incredible opportunity to reach into their hearts and work with Him as he restores their broken spirits. How amazing to be used by God for such a huge task. It amazes me that God uses me, even in my own brokenness, with my fears, insecurities and what I feel are weaknesses – I offer willing hands and God has put them to work.
Some of the other facilitators read the forms before they interview so that they have a understanding of who the person is and what he’s in for while doing the interview. I don’t do this. I prefer to chat to them first and find out who they are before I open their files and label them. One of the prisoners touched my heart as I interviewed him. “Mma”, he called me – a form of utmost respect in his black culture. “I want to do this course to stop raping women”. A mixture of emotions flooded me but none that I expected. My heart melted and I had to hold myself back from reaching out to him and just holding him, hugging him like a child that I desired to protect and find healing for.
My journey into God’s heart has just begun. I have 19 weeks within the walls of this prison and I look forward to the experiences that are yet to come. I feel honoured that God would use me, with all my sin – it seems He still trusts me anyway.
Thank you my Father!. I love You.